Photography 101

So I haven't blogged in over a year.....I think a lot of that is due to time and perhaps lack of inspiration. A good writer has to have something to write about, something that stirs a deep passion in their soul, an idea or a thought that nags at their brain until it is finally put onto paper. I have been severely lacking in the inspiration department lately....and I think that has a lot to do with my first excuse...time. At any rate, I have found an outlet for my need to be creative in the last months, and this is in the form of photography. I am no artist, I will be the first to say that. I have always appreciated art, but loathed anything crafty or artsy for myself because I am terrible at it! However, I have held an interest for several years in photography. Although I have yet to master the art of taking good pictures of people, my favorite subject to photograph is nature. I love trying to capture the beauty of nature on camera, and as weird as it may sound, I am obsessed with taking pictures of dead trees. I know, morbid, right? I think the fascination with trees for me is their architectural structure, their timeless elegance, despite age. Anyway, I am going to try to post more of my favorite photos I have taken (the ones here are of the coastline near Pebble Beach in Monterey, California and the dead tree is one of many I have taken. This one is from a nature reserve outside of Omaha); enjoy them for what they are - my first attempts at artistry.

Creation

A poem I wrote this fall.

The beauty of your nature
stirs awe within my soul;
Your creation that surrounds me
A reminder of Your love.

In the stillness of the morning,
the soft music of the wind
quiets my mind and heart,
it brings me back to You again.

The chorus of Creation
offers a perfect melody;
It lures me into communion,
as if you made this all for me.

You bring me into Your presence.
You drench me with Your peace.
Your spirit washes over me
an outpouring of love that will not cease.

Leaving

A poem I was inspired to write after reading a portion of the book "Through Painted Deserts" by Donald Miller.

“Leaving”

I remember
The bittersweet sensation
Of leaving.
Leaving this beautiful place,
That city,
Those people.
Constantly moving
From here to there,
Never feeling
Quite at home
As I tried to hold onto my self.
Never knowing
That leaving
Meant change.
That everybody has to leave,
To change
Like seasons,
Or they stop living.
For through changing
We die,
Only to be born again
We leave
Only to come home again
And learn to love again,
Only this time for different reasons.
This cycle of changing
Keeps me moving,
Keeps me leaving
Not only places, but the person I once was,
It keeps me pressing on
Towards the person I might be.

Saved?

I have been thinking a lot lately about the idea of Saving Grace. I feel like God's grace is so often misunderstood, misinterpreted, or just plain missed. Here is a poem I wrote that pretty much sums up my feelings.

"Saved(?)

Misunderstood by all humanity
Shunned by pride
Begged for in darkness

Illogical, yet so simplistic
Carelessly thrown aside,
Considered unnecessary

Lacking relevance for today
Betrayed and rejected,
Abused and neglected

Undeserved in our greatest failures
Offering everything,
Expecting nothing
Given freely, yet rarely accepted.

Found in the barren desert of our lives,
A last resort for some,
Others a precious gift

Motivated by love, blameless yet taking on the brunt of my sin,

Hanging on a cross, grace was dealt me.
Will I take the outstretched hand,
of this crazy, holy grace?

It's been a while.....

It's a blustery cold, wintery night in Nebraska....perfect weather for catching up on some reading...or blogging. :) I stayed home from my regular monday night engagement with our small group from church to rest tonight.....I feel a cold coming on....I am tired....and all in all just not in the mood for social interaction.

This seems to be the case a lot lately...not the cold part, but the not being social part. It's not that I have all of a sudden taken a vow to become a hermit, but the life of a recluse is growing more appealing by the day. I used to revel in the company of others; I blossomed in conversations with friends....but I feel very different as of late. I don't think that I like people any less, I have just begun to have my eyes opened to the fallibility of human kind. This year of work and school and life in general has shown me that one can never rely too heavily on people to find satisfaction. People, whether friends or family, coworkers or the guy who gives me coffee....all...all are sinful and fallen and messy. And I am the worst among them.

I find myself retreating further into myself lately, not just to avoid the mess of others, but more so to keep my own messiness away from them. I fear so greatly the idea of being exposed for who I really am. I shudder to imagine my own weaknesses become apparent to my peers and that they might judge me, as I so often have judged those around me.

I don't know if this makes much sense....I am still sorting out the confusion of my thoughts. All I know is that I long for the kind of relationship that is open to the real me....junk and all. And I am realizing that no earthly being can provide this....I know it is only God who can welcome me as I am, willingly and eagerly. And yet, this is such a hard concept to grasp...a relationship with such a perfect being...especially with the poor example of earthly relationship we are presented with daily.

I ramble a lot tonight....so I will end with a poem I wrote a while ago as I reflected on the sad condition of our worldly relationships.

Worldly Wonderings

Cara Parliament

9.28.06

I want to know why…

The ones who should not be trusted,

Are the ones in whom we confide;

Why …

The ones who hold low morals,

Are the leaders we hold on high?

I want to know why…

People who judge and ridicule,

Are the same people who can dish it, but cannot take it?

Why…

The people that seem most interested in you,

Are the people who deep down you know just fake it.

I want to know why…

The faults of others are easily overlooked,

Yet our own flaws are placed beneath a microscope;

Why…

Their sins may be quickly forgotten,

But my sins in their eyes leave me with no hope.

I want to know why…

Standing up for an opinion is considered initiative

and a bold display of confidence for one;

Why…

My own voice is stifled by the prospect

of exclusion when it is all said and done?

I want to know why…

Average is acceptable

As long as it is in their own way and time;

Why…

It seems I am alone in thinking

That mediocrity is a crime.

I want to know when…

The world became so chaotic

And what made it such a mess;

When…

Our focus shifted from the deluge of war or poverty,

When relationships became our biggest stress.

I want to know how…

All that we shrug off as just the “human condition”

Will ever find a remedy;

How…

A world so completely broken

Can ever bring itself out of the FALL’s tragedy.

And in all of my wonderings,

I have slowly become jaded with the state our world is in,

Weary with witnessing the daily affects of each of our sins.

Yet instead of becoming cynical

with the turmoil of each new day,

I remind myself to seek answers to my questions

In HIM who is the ONLY WAY.

Thoughts on God, Eve, and Me

A few summers ago, I read John Eldredge's book "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul". Despite a title which may scare a few men who might not want to know anything more of the mystery that is merely women, this book was probably one of the best I have ever read. What struck me so deeply about "Captivating" was how honestly and accurately the author portrayed the deep wounds that lie within every woman, wounds dating back to The Fall when Eve, our misguided first woman, sinned and therefore tainted her wonderful relationship with the Lord. Before reading this book, I always thought about this story as if it were a fairy tale. Of course I cursed Eve for causing such horrible things to happen to women as, for instance, the pain of childbirth. I have not experienced this yet, but from what I have heard, that kind of pain is definitely fallout from The Fall! But "Captivating" revealed to me that Eve's slip-up is in every single way the same as my own failure to follow God and devote myself, my life to Him and Him alone. In the wake of reading this book, I wrote a poem, from Eve's voice or point of view. Though her lament, her despair may seem far removed from our own lives, listen closely for the ways in which her story, her circumstance, are so closely linked to your own.

Eve

By Cara Parliament

I live in the dark valleys
of the shadows of my soul.
wounded by the past,
afraid I am un-whole.

My heart holds the pain
of a distant memory;
one where I am beautiful,
the life you meant for me.

Now I am left searching
for the life I used to hold.
But scarred by the journey,
I am left bitter, hurt, and cold.

You promise me forgiveness
and the life I so desire.
Only You can make me lovely
and raise me from the mire.

I long for love and meaning;
Only You can understand.
yearning for your healing touch
I stretch out to grab your hand.

But just as I am in reach
of The Father’s tender grasp,
I am bombarded with lies again,
echoes of the past.

Shrinking back in fear,
trembling as I cower,
Oh when will I realize that
my beauty lies in Your power!

I live in the dark valleys
of the shadows of my soul
wounded by the past,
afraid I am un-whole.

Something

I wrote this poem a few weeks ago as I pondered my own inability to be satisfied with my life. I feel that this is such a universal feeling, not unique to myself...that everyone longs for something more, even when we cannot figure out what more is. So without further ado, my first posted poem.

Something

Contentment.

We may define it, but can we really understand what it is.

Has one ever experienced it?

It’s funny to me…

How no one is ever truly satisfied with their life.

We trudge through each day with a sense that there must be something more,

Something better

And at the end of the day,

When we haven’t found that allusive something,

Disappointment and depression sink in,

Even when the thing that is missing has no name,

No form or figure to help discover it

No clear definition, no tangible quality.

And yet we long for something,

Something better

Something more,

Something that if found

Will deliver

Contentment.

CBP